Introduction

I am writing this post as a reflection on the material and concepts presented to me last night at the seminar. We are encouraged to reflect on the information given to us and draw conclusions from it as part of the personal development process.

Since I have this blog, and my note taking skills need some professional help, I will just use this as a place to process my thoughts and draw connections to support my growth.

The Environment and Culture

Now last night was more of an introductory meeting to start what they call the “vetting and education” process. At the beginning of the meeting my mentors introduced me to a few of the key players in the group. The first was Aiden. Aiden was in his early 20’s, had been in the group since he was 18. He referred to this as his “college experience” he echoed what many of the other professionals I would meet that night would say, “Don’t be overwhelmed, focus on the concepts not the numbers, just be a sponge”.

This became evident as a core component of this environment and culture. One of the things that Lucas and Madison (more on them later) said in their presentations was that if you want to be successful in this process, you have to build trust. This process is about changing your mindset. This means your beliefs will be challenged, you will be called out, and you will be offered constructive criticism. Not to harm you, but you wouldn’t be here if you didn’t want to grow.

Emphasis on Growth Mindset (Teachability)

Growth is uncomfortable. You will make mistakes, and they will let you know if you are doing so. But you have to be teachable. You have to be a sponge. Doing what I typically do, arguing with every piece of advice given to me, doing whatever I want, and then realizing that they were right, is going to be the fastest way to lose this opportunity.

Sometimes I will have to learn the art of connecting my bottom lip to my top lip and shutting the heck up. Learn to listen first, speak last. I am not here as a subject matter expert; I am here as a student. I am selling myself as to why these mentors should invest in me. I have to be teachable. It doesn’t matter how much I SAY I want to be teachable. My actions mean a hell of a lot more than my words. In fact, my actions mean everything. There is no 2 years of second chances here. There is one. And only one.

Immediate Evidence of Success

Simply minutes after walking in the door with my $26 meticulously selected Goodwill suit, I overheard one of many conversations about real business owners talking about their successes and lessons learned. Conversations and reflections that apparently happen on the daily in this culture. I like that.

The gentleman speaking was named Marquese (Marquese, my apologies if you are reading this and I spelled your name wrong; I’ll touch base with you later and get that fixed). Marquese owned his own line of energy drinks and was talking about how he got his first few customers. As he told the story, I was impressed with the simplicity and dedication he used to acquire those first sales.

Marquese drove around with a cooler in his car filled with the energy drinks. He had stopped at a mechanics shop and was talking to the owner while they were working on his car I believe (not sure on that detail). And the owner, said they weren’t interested. But, as Marquese went to his car to leave the shop, he noticed one of the mechanics drinking an energy drink outside.

He saw an opportunity and my man took it. He just walked up to him, said something along the lines of “Hey I see you are drinking [xyz] energy drink. I own my own energy drink brand; would you be interested in trying one?” The guy was happy to, and this is where Marquese really stood out. Instead of having a case in his trunk, he had the drinks chilled and ready to provide a refreshing EXPERIENCE for the customer. He wasn’t just pitching an energy drink, he was pitching the level of service, dedication, and preparation that the gentleman would receive if buying from Marquese.

That was impactful. He took the time to show me the texts and the interactions with customers, show me his values and character, and explain his philosophies on how character influences sales. It was awesome experience.

The Root of a Movement

As mentioned earlier, I want to tell you about Lucas and Madison. Lucas and Madison are the couple that founded this gem in St. Louis. They are highly successful entrepreneurs in the St. Louis area, and are sought after to speak at conferences and seminars all over the globe.

Lucas was one of four children of a single mom who was an elementary school teacher. He spoke about how the perspective of growing up in a trailer park, watching his mom struggle with paying the bills, influenced him to change his family’s future. He decided he wanted to be a professional football player, and be an inspiration and change people’s lives.

He worked hard on achieving that dream. Dedicated everything to getting there. However, two shoulder surgeries later (one being a total reconstruction) he began to question this path, and if there was another way to change his family’s legacy.

He ended up getting connected with a couple named Courtney and Paige. Courtney sort of play a pseudo father figure role to Lucas. He taught Lucas the mindset he was seeking, but also expected that hunger, that drive, and that desire to leave a legacy that I mentioned in a previous post.

Lucas and Madison Helped Me Remember Who I Was Before I Died

There were two extremely impactful things that I resonated with about Lucas and Madison. Lucas and Madison were high school sweethearts. They met when they were 15 and one of the things that Madison said was that she fell in love with Lucas for who he was. Not the dreams, or the biceps (although she did admit it was a nice bonus) but who he was as a person.

Now, this reminded me of my failed relationship with my ex-girlfriend. I believe I mentioned that the thing I adored about her was that she loved me for just me. She was that once-in-a-lifetime “she was there before the keys to the Aston” kind of woman. Exactly like Madison was for Lucas.

And I have also noted in previous posts that the person she fell in love with, that guy she fell in love with, died when I did back in September and she spent almost a full year begging for him to come back before she had to leave to protect herself and her mental health.

I couldn’t make sense of where that guy she loved had gone. I couldn’t figure out, despite her pleas, how to bring him back, until I heard Lucas’s story last night. There was a specific perspective he had shared about his situation, a specific mindset that he had developed, that awoke a part of my brain that I did not realize had died. It re-awoke my purpose, my drive, the WHY I was doing the things, the REASON why compassion was so important to me when Mikaila met me. The reason why she fell in love.

The Reason She Fell in Love, and The Misson I Lost in Death

Lucas said they he watched his mom struggle with money as a child and didn’t want his children to have to do the same. He wanted to give them a future he never had, he wanted to give them the opportunity he had to fight for without the pain and suffering that comes with it. He wanted to leave a legacy for his grandchildren’s grandchildren.

When he said that, it clicked. All the memories when I was a kid of “I just want my kid to be able to choose the food they want for their birthday, not just have ramen noodles”. The “I want my kid to be able to go to college without having to worry about where their next meal is coming from”. The “I want my child to be able to have a modest, functional, and reliable first car so they can have independence”. The “I don’t want my child to be forced to start hustling in 5th grade so they can buy themselves a nice pair of shoes that aren’t great value brand”.

That was the dream I had. That was the WHY that made me want to love Mikaila without conditions. That was why I was “Kinda the perfect guy”. It was never that I was overly compassionate, or just “too kind”. I had a vision, I had a purpose, there was a REASON I exercised compassion without prejudice. There was a reason, even after everything went south, I still had this compassion to drive 3 people and a kiddo who could not speak English 7 hours to chase a greyhound bus because I didn’t want a kiddo to watch his parents get deported. There was a reason I still did things like that even though I couldn’t explain it.

And Lucas echoed that reason verbatim right in front of me. It was like I was looking at myself in ten years. It was the spark that awoke the passion that I lost when I died. The reason I was the way I was. The reason why she fell in love with me, just like Madison did with Lucas.

I Have a Misson to Continue, and a Legacy to Build

I will never be okay with the fact that I was what drove her away. But now I remember who I was, I remember why she believed in me so stupendously and borderline insanely much. She might not be by my side anymore, but I have a mission to complete. I have lives to change, people to help, and kids to help not struggle like I did. I have Lucas and Madison to thank for showing me who I used to be in the mirror. And I have Mikaila to thank for believing in me for as long as she could, and to apologize to for figuring it out too late.

But I have figured it out now. And I don’t have time to be mad at myself. I don’t have time to waste crying myself to sleep. That time is now dedicated to reading, learning, investing. Investing time and character, not money. I have a world to change, and while I have mistakes to learn from, I don’t have time to drag it out. This is my future, this is the legacy I will leave behind.

The Path Is Set, and the Seeds of Legacy Are Planted

When my ashes are scattered on the field of flowers and powerlines in Bonne Terre, my legacy won’t just be in the flowers that are born in that field, my legacy will be thousands of children who will never know my name but will never have to struggle like I did. They will be able to be what a child is best at being: A human before humans got hurt.

The sheer trust and compassion before life teaches you that trust and compassion lead to pain. Simply because, even if for a small period of time, the effort and legacy I built, bought them a little bit more time to be a child. Loving, kind, compassionate, and caring. I have vision, I have purpose, and I have work to do. Thank you Damareia, Brock, Allannah, Lucas, Madison, Mikaila, and Vivica for investing in me, and helping me find where my compass used to point. Thank you for believing in me, even when I didn’t, and finally helping me see, what others saw in me that I couldn’t.

I owe you guys everything, and the legacy I will leave is because of your investment and is going to be my thank you.